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Today’s post is different compared to the usual lifestyle posts I usually post. This post dives deeper into my personal side. However, I still wanted to share. Enjoy 😉
Ever been in a relationship you thought would last forever? Everything was perfect? People wanted what you had. Maybe you even loved them. And they loved you back. You didn’t even think it was possible for someone to love you.
The good morning texts. Staying up half the night, losing sleep just so you can hear their voice over the phone. Texting 24/7. The sweet compliments to each other. The hugs that left you breathless. Kisses that stopped time. Saying I love you…and hearing it back. They told you that they would never leave you. And you believed them. The happiness and the love continued for months. Everyone thought you two were going to get married, maybe even you did. Then suddenly everything started to change.
There’s no warning. Everything starts going out of control. Like a drunk driver is steering your life. They start to become distant. Not returning text messages, not talking to you, claiming they’re “just stressed”.You go home night after night for days on end and sit in your room and cry because you don’t know what’s going on. Is it your fault? What happened? What changed? There are no answers.You can’t do anything about it besides let it play out.
You think nonstop about it for weeks as things continue to spiral out of control. And suddenly without warning the breakup hits. You’re crushed. Of course, you are. You still love them. But your heart broke into a million pieces.
They were your entire world for months on end. They had been your best friend. You trusted them. They broke their promises. You cared about them. But you can’t do anything about it…because they don’t love you anymore. They don’t care. They say they don’t want things to be awkward between you. Things are still awkward. They say they still want to be friends. You don’t talk anymore. They said they’d always be there. They’re not.
Your friends start getting into relationships. They stop talking to you as much. They themselves are caught up in the bliss of romance. You become the third wheel. Trailing behind the happy couple. Watching them as you silently hope to yourself that maybe one day…you’ll find someone who truly loves you. But you vow not to date anymore for awhile. Practically swearing off guys. You can’t go through another heartbreak. Your heart is barely put back together.
But then you meet someone. You fall in love. You get through ups and downs together. They’re the one. At least you thought they were. You find out they never loved you…they never loved you so much they cheated on you with the person they claimed to be over. Every ounce of trust you have in people disappears. The butterflies you used to get are gone.
When your heart gets broken, no matter how long the relationship lasted for or how unhealthy or healthy it was, it’s not just the feeling of sadness. It’s almost like you can feel your heart being ripped from your chest.
Heartbreak is insomnia you never knew you had. Awake at 3 am staring at the ceiling wondering why. Thinking through every little detail where something could have gone wrong tears flowing silently down your cheeks. Begging yourself to fall asleep…but you can’t.
Heartbreak is barely being able to face the days ahead but putting a smile on your face, when in reality, everything feels like it’s crashing down around you. It seems as if your world is falling apart. Like you’ve lost everything.
Heartbreak is thinking you’re okay but then you hear their name, see their photo, or think of a memory and suddenly it’s like you were just hit by a truck. Like every bit of happiness, you were able to scrape together disappears into thin air.
Heartbreak is not being able to listen to your favorite songs because they showed them to you… it was the songs you sang together at the top of your lungs while in the car. The songs where you both knew every word. The songs you listened to when you missed them because everything from the lyrics to the sounds of the notes reminded you of them.
You want to be angry. You want to hate them for the way they treated you, the way they betrayed you. But you can’t. You can’t bring yourself to. You don’t want to miss them; you do. They meant the world to you. They were your best friend.
Relationships are never easy and long story short, nobody deserves to feel the pain of a breakup. Although I am going through a post-breakup period myself, I am a firm believer that there is some out there for everyone; and when you find them, all the heartbreaks will have been worth it.
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