You stand there, separate but one.

When I see you, when I think about you,

I am consumed with different shades of red.

You reach your hand out to me

Pulling back when I reach too.

Your emotions are like the distance between us.

As you travel father and farther away,

the shades of red I feel change;

the shade becomes deeper with anger

but lighter with the anticipation of love.

You’re supposed to be here.

I long for the touch of your uniform against my skin

as I hug you, welcoming you home.

I wish I could see you,

but it’s as if you’re never coming home.

Your name appears on my phone’s screen,

and my mind screams for the solitude I find in you,

I fight the urge to reply,

fights which are always lost.

I answer you.

The red notification ignites

The good memories like a bad drug.

My brain is practically screaming at my heart

“No, you can’t respond.”

I answer you.

It is almost as if the color red is tainted with the smell of your cologne.

All the shades of red suddenly wash over me,

the color of love and lust

but also anger and hurt.

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